The Dispelled Girl

I was a product of the early "Pioneer Days" in the homeschooling movement. I was ushered into The Movement by my parents, and primarily my mother, from the time I was five. My freedom from The Movement happened upon my graduation from highschool.

My life as a young girl was much like that of someone viewing the life of another through a veil. It was not the life that I was supposed to have lived and it left me feeling bewildered and created much inner tension. I was supposed to have gone to school. I was supposed to have had friends. I was supposed to have had a relationship with my grandparents. Yet I didn't.

Why? My young heart would wonder, cry, ponder. At times my heart was so full the only place for the overflow to run to was the hot, wet tears that would drench my eyelashes and pillow as I muffled the sounds of my heaving sobs into my pillow. Disagreement with parents was something that was viewed as being subordinate, dishonoring, and something that was akin to the unpardonable sin. My parents had become prominent leaders in The Movement, I was to be an example to other children. How could I think such evil thoughts? How could I let myself believe these lies of the devil? How could I be so disrespectful? How could I be so evil? My heart and tears would eventually dry up as I would drift off to a fitful nights rest.

So the story Dispelled: One Girl's Journey is about that little dispelled girl who stood agast at the atroscities being done to her by the hands of her parents and by the leaders of The Movement itself. This story Dispelled is also about dispelling the lies that The Movement tells the coming of age young adults and the myths that go along with this cult. This story is about dispelling as well, the mysterious nature of my past history of extreme abuse and suicidal attempts due to The Movement's methods of parenting. This story is about me and about telling the world just exactly what The Movement is all about: A cult that is designed to control your children and obliterate their spirits.

This is my story of survival, escape, and finding freedom in the arms of her real Savior and the arms of a man whom God had in mind that would restore healing to her broken heart and give her the freedom to just be the amazing creature that she was created to be. This is the story of me.